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PATRIOT Act
The PATRIOT Act was signed into law by The Most Patriotic Freedom-loving President Ever, George W. Bush, in October of 2001. It is another one of his many great achievements, some say even greater than Operation Iraqi Freedom. This act allow spying on Americans to make it easier catching scheming violent freedom-hating Moo-slims extremist terrorists. It is an important tool used in the Freemerican Victernity Made in China. Many people do not realize that PATRIOT is actually and acronym. It stands for 'P'rotecting 'A'merica from 'T'errorists 'R'eally 'I'nflates 'O'ur 'T'esticles. The PATRIOT Act should not be confused with PATRIOT missiles. History Immediately after 9/11, it became apparent that most civil liberties are just pesky obstructions to catching terrorists. The PATRIOT Act was conceived by the Greatest Administration Ever, and was pushed through Congress by the start of the War on Terror. Congress did their duty and rubber stamped this Act, surprisingly with almost no dissent from terrorist-coddling liberal lawmakers or the Hate America Firsters. In late 2006, this all-American law was set to expire. Democrats with their pro-terrorist agenda were conspiring to prevent the Act's renewal, or at least take away all of its ballsiness. Luckily, the heroic Republican Congress foiled the jackasses' plans before Nancy Pelosi's evil forces took over and completely destroyed America. Provisions Expansion of CIA Power Now the CIA is even more secretive than before - but don't worry, it still isn't doing anything that you should be concerned with. Except for saving all of our asses by preventing every single terrorist attack since 9/11 (trust us, there have been a lot). Thanks to the PATRIOT Act, the CIA will soon control the FBI, FISA courts, and hopefully even Congress and the Justice Department. Border Security The PATRIOT Act says that in order to protect America from terrorists, we must keep Muslims and Mexicans out, but just to be safe, we should keep all foreigners out. A wall surrounding our entire country is the best way to do this. Why isn't it happening? Because Democrats and corrupt cops are conspiring against America. Surveillance Surveillance? What surveillance? You certainly can't be talking about the NSA's wiretapping, or reading Americans' e-mails, internets searches, or library records. Controversy ACLU-huggers and others from the Blame America First Crowd call the PATRIOT Act "unconstitutional" and cry about how it ignores our civil liberties. They cite the so-called "right to privacy" and "right to not be taken from your home and thrown in a secret prison." It sounds like these unAmerican terrorist sympathizers have something to hide. External Tubes *Patriot Act continues to keep us safe from hippie terrorists *Government now releasing new patriotic application the iWatch *Government to monitor series of tubes... except 4chan... it is already dead to us *Police to block spam mail *Patriot Act to give free vacation travels to hippies *PATRIOT Act: Global Edition *Tea Baggers made a mistake, they were confused and voted against Patriotic Act *Government saves Patriot Act. Freedom is saved! *CIA captures dangerous American radical *We are #1! Suck it Argentina! *Tyrant mooslim captures dangerous Mexican